Blame It On The Alcohol
by lovingcaptainswan
Summary: A few nights after the group's return from Neverland, both Neal and Regina find themselves feeling out of place in the town's welcome celebration – which leads them to an entirely different place. EvilFire Oneshot


"Well," Regina was the first to break the silence, still catching her breath as she spoke. "That was unexpected."

"Tell me about it," Neal agreed, still staring at the ceiling, his expression saying that he didn't know what to think of it either. A white sheet covered his lower half, and the thin sheen of sweat that had formed on his heaving chest was beginning to slowly dissipate. "_Shit_, we didn't-"

"Pill," she cut him off with a small, smug smirk. "Rest assured, I wouldn't have let anything like _that_ happen if I hadn't already taken care of it. Though it _is _nice to know that you never learn…" she added pointedly with a slight roll of her eyes.

"Hey, it gave us Henry, huh?" He attempted to joke in suit, but sobered, somewhat ashamed that even drunk, he would make such a stupid mistake.

Henry.

It was strange. In a way, it was them bonding over Henry that had gotten them in this situation to begin with.

_"Could I get a whiskey on the rocks?" _

_"Well, well … What have we here? Another town outcast?" Her words were punctuated by the tinkle of ice in a glass and followed by a cold, humorless laugh. _

_Neal nodded his thanks to the bartender as he took his drink and sat down, one seat over from Regina Mills who seemed to be nursing her own beverage of the alcoholic-kind. "So the party got to be too much for you too?" _

_"I never was one for large social gatherings," she commented dryly, taking a sip of her scotch. "It helps when no one in town likes you. Regardless of if you helped save it or not." _

_"Well, I'm still the new guy no one knows much about. Oh, and I'm also The Dark One's son, so I'm sure that makes me real high on the list of people they trust. I stuck around a while for Henry, but after Em put him to bed, I needed a damn drink," he joked with a half-hearted chuckle._

_"I'll drink to that," she replied in the same, sour tone, clinking his glass with his. _

_"You know, I didn't get a chance to thank you. These last few days have been kinda hectic since we've all gotten back." _

_"Thank me?" She seemed surprised by the sentiment, and instinctively, her eyes narrowed with suspicion as she searched his expression for clues. "For what?" _

_"You helped get my son back. Our son, I guess," he corrected himself quickly, shaking his head a bit. He was still getting used to the idea that he shared his son with not only Emma, but Regina - the Evil Queen, the mayor of Storybrooke. "Sorry, it still feels weird to say. This time last year, I didn't even know I had a kid."_

_"I'm sure it is strange," she agreed, glancing down at her drink. _

_"I guess you weren't too excited about another person to share him with, huh?" _

_"That may have been my initial reaction, yes. To both you and Ms. Swan," she admitted slowly. "But … things change after rescuing your son from Neverland. You gain perspective." There was a long moment of silence before she spoke again. "...And he does love spending time with you." Regina pursed her lips, watching him quietly as he ordered another whiskey. "Would you like to see a few pictures of him when he was younger?" Neal's face lit up with interest, and she took that as a yes, pulling out her wallet before he could answer. "Look at this one," she smiled softly, warmth seeping ever so slightly into her tone. "Here he is when he was 3."_

_Neal's mouth spread into an awestruck grin. "Wow, he was cute." He shuffled slowly through the few pictures that she handed to him, stopping on one taken when he was 8 years old. He had his arms wrapped around Pongo's neck in a playground, and had a wide, playful smile on his face._

_Regina paused to look at the picture and then back at Neal, thoughtfully. "You know, I think he looks a lot like you…" _

_"Madame Mayor, sir, it's last call. Anything else I can get for you?" The bartender interrupted, leaning over the bar slightly to address them._

_Neal drained the rest of his whiskey and set the glass back onto the tabletop. "I guess that's it. Time to call it a night…"_

_"Maybe," Regina nodded, following suit and drinking the final sip of scotch and then looking at the man next to her in a silent scrutiny. "Though…" she went on casually. "I do know of another place where we can have a few drinks and continue our conversation…" _

He still didn't quite understand what had possessed him to say yes to her offer, maybe it was the alcohol, but he had had an odd urge to get to know her. She was his son's adoptive mother, and regardless of what everyone thought of her, she was going to be a part of their lives. That was it. Of course it had nothing to do with the buzz forming from his drinks or the provocatively low cut top she was wearing.

After a short taxi ride back to her spacious home, she had poured herself another scotch, and him another whiskey… and then another. More family photos came out and the stories that went along with them, until the stories took a deeper turn, the lure of the liquor slowly trickling out details of their lives that they hadn't expected to share.

Before he had realized what was happening, they were in her bed.

"This is the part where I leave and we don't talk about this again, right?"

"Generally… Unless you're still drunk. We can't have you getting into an accident on the way back from my home, after all. It wouldn't be very … prudent of us. Especially not when your ex is the sheriff."

His smile wavered slightly as he searched her face, wondering if he was imagining it, or if she was actually asking him to stay the night. He couldn't decide if she wanted him to stay, or if she was genuinely concerned about what people would think if they found out that they had slept together. After a long moment of hesitation, he reluctantly sat up, shifting his shoulders and groaning softly, exhaustion and the haziness from the evening of whiskey screaming at him to roll over and go to sleep. "No. I… she's bringing him over to my place in the morning and then we're all going to a late breakfast."

"Well, that's… nice."

The twinge of jealousy in her tone wasn't lost on Neal. "You know, you could… you could always join us at Granny's?" And there was the whiskey talking again. "Emma will be with us."

"Oh, in that case, that wouldn't be at all awkward," she quipped with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, sorry. Bad idea." Neal grinned playfully at her, confused by how much he enjoyed her rolling his eyes at him for the thousandth time. Definitely the whiskey.

"I thought you were leaving?"

He began to sit up in a mock effort to concede, then let himself drop back to the pillow, the residual alcohol in his system making him feel remarkably comfortable in what would normally be an uncomfortable situation. "I would, but my clothes are too far away."

"Oh, stop being a baby," she rolled her eyes, then on a second thought, cast a sly smirk his way. She lifted her arm in the direction of his pants and with a flick of her wrist, lifted them into the air, tossing them lightly at the foot of the bed.

Neal's head immediately seemed to clear as he sat up and his face grew solemn. "Hey, you don't have to do that."

"What?"

He shook his head at himself and moved the sheets aside, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. "Nothin," he shrugged, hopping on one foot momentarily as he stepped into his boxers.

She too sat up in bed, holding the sheet to her chest. "No, what is it?"

"You don't- you don't have to use magic for everything. Not for _me_. I'm sorry, it's just...nothing."

She raised an amused eyebrow. "The son of Rumpelstiltskin is telling 'The Evil Queen' not to use magic?"

Neal shook his head, his previously relaxed face looking drawn and slightly frustrated. "I've seen evil. You're not evil, Regina, you're just… hurt."

She clucked her tongue and turned her head away. "Don't tell me what I am. You don't know what I've done."

"No, I don't. But I've seen what my father's influence can do to people. His magic."

"He taught me almost everything I know."

Neal stiffened at the new piece of information, freezing midway while pulling his t-shirt over his head, then continuing with another heavy sigh. "This was a mistake."

Regina's expression flickered between angry and hurt, finally settling on a cold sort of neutrality. "Yes, I suppose it was. We wouldn't want the mother of your child to find out."

"What? Dammit, Regina. It's not about her. I've gotta go."

"At least let me call you a cab."

"It's a five minute drive."

"I'm the mayor and you're still intoxicated. One call to the sheriff's office tomorrow…"

Even drunk, old habits seemed to die hard for Regina.

"Are you serious, Regina?" he growled in frustration, yanking on his jeans. "Is that how you get what you want around here? Manipulation? I'm starting to see what everyone else sees in you. Magic and manipulation. It figures you'd have spent too much time with my father."

The confidence on her face fell and she swallowed hard, setting her jaw. "No need to be biting. I don't think I'm the only one here who has done things worthy of judgement, or should I remind you of things that I've heard about you and Ms. Swan?" she snapped. "Your car is all the way back at the bar, but if you want to go get yourself killed, then fine." She rolled her eyes and threw off the sheets, not caring that she was completely naked underneath as she stood up to gather her clothes. "God, shows what you get in this town when you just try to help someone," she muttered under her breath, clearly wounded by his words and still a little tipsy.

They continued dressing in silence, the tension between them thick enough to be felt in the air.

Finally, Neal sighed, shaking his head. "Sorry."

"What was that?"

"I said I'm sorry for being an asshole, you didn't deserve that," he repeated through gritted teeth. It had never been easy for him to apologize to people, to accept guilt for anything, but maybe it was time to learn. "You were right. I'll take a cab."

Regina looked vaguely touched, pausing before pulling on a thin, black tank top to sleep in. "I appreciate that. I shouldn't have mentioned your past with Henry's mother," she admitted, then reached for her phone. Neal already had his in his hand.

"It's fine, I've got it," he said, as he held the phone up to his ear and told the driver where to pick him up.

"Neal…" She began once he had hung up. He turned to look at her, waiting for her to continue. "Would you and Henry like to join me for dinner tomorrow night? It'll be homecooked?"

"Regina, you're still drunk," he smirked, shaking his head. "You don't mean that."

"Don't tell me what I mean," she retorted in an offended tone. "And don't read too much into this, _Baelfire_," she snipped "I simply think we should get to know each other. For Henry's sake. You and he and Emma spend time together, after all. The three of us having dinner might be good for him. And of course, he wouldn't know a thing about what happened here tonight," she added, a small hint of threat in her words.

Neal looked surprised, still unable to read this intriguing woman that he had just spent the night with. One moment she would show herself to him, show him a little bit of real feeling, and then she'd scoop it back up like she'd never showed him. He started to reply when his cellphone rang. "Damn, that was fast."

"It's a small town."

"Well, it sure isn't New York," he mumbled as he pressed 'end call' and glanced out of the window to see the cab waiting at the curb. He waved at the driver, indicating that he would be down soon. "I've gotta go…" After a moment's thought, he glanced back at her. "I'll call you about dinner, ok?"

She pursed her lips to keep from smiling and sat back into bed, pulling the covers closer. "Just let me know early so I don't end up with leftovers for days," she replied shortly with a nonchalant shrug.

Neal smirked and nodded, picking up his coat off of the floor on his way towards the door. "I had a good time tonight..."

Regina laughed and rolled her eyes. "Go home and go to bed, Neal... and I'll see you tomorrow night."

Neal chuckled silently at her presumptuousness, as he left the room. "I'll see you tomorrow night."

**The End**

**_A/n: I have no idea where this came from. I know it was a tad fluffy and not likely to happen, but I like the idea of this ship and just had to get the idea out of my head. Haha _**

**_Review?_**


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